This feels like war I do not have a military background, I have not been to war. So I can not speak for that experience. However, I can’t stop that phrase from going through my head. This feels like war. Here is my struggle and forgive me if it is completely off base. When one goes to war, they are immersed in it. They are with their team and fellow soldiers. Sometimes they get to interact with the outside world. They can facetime with family or friends, but they are in it. And then they come home, try to readjust to normal life, and it rips many to pieces. In the ER so many of my homeless, drunk, deteriorating, angry, lost patients, are old vets. War destroyed them. Young adults come in with PTSD and substance abuse problems. And it makes more and more sense to me why this happens. Normal life in the ER can damage you. I can say with a 100% certainty that my panic button is broken. I cannot tell you the last time I felt the rush of adrenaline. I also can’t tell you the last ti...
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Week one update! So turns out my body loves no booze and keto. Although I did purchase those test strips to see if I'm in ketosis and I'm not. I may have just been doing a more Paleo approach, probably too much protein. I didn't really research the Keto diet, I just did a late breakfast of hard boiled eggs (3) and an avocado at 9-10ish and then lunch was either eggs or tri tip and cauliflower rice that I made using a whole can of coconut milk and eggs and spices with mushrooms and olives. I figured that the avocado and coconut milk were enough fat but maybe not. Costco sells theses amazing seaweed snacks that I've been munching on as well. And that's my week of food. No more night eating or boozing and lots of really good sleep and sometimes tea before bed. I'm just under 200lbs at 198.6. That's a decent loss of 6lbs but also I'm sure the de-bloating factor is the majority. This week will be the true telling. Also. I took before pics. So these are from...
New Starts
I'm writing this procrastinating on getting my shit together today. Although I do need to start documenting and journaling more and my handwriting is painful. Here's the deal. I'm 36 turning 37 in 13 weeks. I just went through a breakup that was more painful than my divorce with a man I thought was my soulmate. Plot twist, he was not. I now find myself weighing 206 lbs and with a good 20 grand of credit card debt. Not really how I pictured crushing adulthood. However, I also find myself game fully employed as an ED RN, backed by a solid group of friends I'd even go so far as to call my tribe if I'm staying on trend. I just renewed the lease on my place for a year in my epic high rise building in beautiful downtown San Diego and I'm fully settled into my home. Boy wonder was going to move in and, well, had been saying that for years so I always held space for him. But now I find myself only responsible for me and I can't say any decisions or actions are a...